What was left unsaid
by CPD5021George
Summary: This story is set after Chicago PD Episodes 7x10 and 7x11. Would Hailey ever tell Jay what she wanted to say when he was released from Med? A one-shot Upstead story


_This is a one-shot Upstead story taking place after episodes 7x10 and 7x11_

**What was left unsaid**

Kim Burgess and Hailey Upton came down the stairs of 21st, where Jay Halstead was already waiting.

"Jay, any word on Nick?" Kim asked when she approached Trudy Platt's desk.

"Yeah," Jay answered. "Med said he's critical but stable. They think he's gonna pull through."

He quickly turned to Hailey. "I heard you made a nice disarm?"

"Oh man, you want details?"

"Yeah, I'm losing my mind," Jay frowned.

"After 6 days?" Kim asked. Desk duty was bad, but that bad?

"After 6 minutes," Jay simply replied.

* * *

When Trudy asked Kim to stay back, Jay and Hailey went outside together. As usual after Jay's release from the hospital, she gave him a ride home. In Jay's truck – which was an honor in itself, given that Jay never let anyone drive his truck. But right now, he didn't have much of a choice, and he was glad that Hailey was so helpful, and so patient with him. He knew he wasn't the easiest person to take care of. He wasn't annoyed by doing desk duty only, but by having his arm in a sling, by needing help at all. He wanted everything to be normal again.

"You want to come inside?" Jay asked Hailey, as soon as she stopped the car in front of his building. "We could order pizza. As a thank you."

"We could do that," Hailey answered and got out of the car.

"And by the way, you need to tell me more about your disarm," Jay teased.

"Do I?" Hailey raised her eyebrows.

"Absolutely. Second-hand action is better than no action at all."

Hailey laughed. "I see. But there isn't much to tell. You know how this works."

Jay opened the door, tried to get out of his jacket. Automatically Hailey helped him, put the jacket away and followed Jay into the living room.

Jay turned his head back to her, begging. "Come on, tell me!"

She gave him her usual eye-rolling, which always made him smile.

"Come on, Hailey, tell me about what happened."

"If you don't shut up, I'll show you," she quipped.

"You would?" A willful look appeared in his eyes, just enough for her to notice. And she did. Faster than he could react, she took his uninjured right arm and pulled it behind his back, pushing him softly against the wall.

"Ouch," Jay uttered, more surprised than actually hurting.

"You asked for it," Hailey laughed.

"You can be thankful that I'm still injured, otherwise I would so..."

"You would what?" More laughter.

Jay laughed with her, gave up his resistance. He didn't want to unintentionally hurt his left shoulder. Hailey noticed how the tension left his body and immediately let go of his arm, still laughing.

Jay sighed dramatically and rubbed his arm.

"The things you do to a poor injured guy."

Hailey couldn't stop laughing at Jay's exaggerated moaning, and it didn't take long before he joined in again.

Jay opened the fridge and took two bottles of beer, gave her one.

"Here you go. Shall I order the usual pizza?"

"Thanks. And yes, the usual," Hailey nodded, opened her bottle and took a swig.

While Jay ordered pizza, she made herself comfortable on his couch, just like so many nights before. She was so relieved that he was going to be fine again, that he had survived the abduction and shooting. That time in Med was the worst, not knowing if he would pull through or not. And the feeling of guilt, because she should have stopped him when she found out what he was doing. She knew it was a bad idea, knew it from the beginning. She shouldn't have let him leave the crime scene, when Angela called. And she should have talked to Voight much earlier.

But he was here, he was going to be ok, and that was all that counted. She leaned against the back of the couch, relaxed.

The pizza was there in no time, and both ate it greedily, drinking another beer, chatting amicably.

Out of nowhere Jay suddenly put down his bottle of beer, stared at Hailey.

"What?" she asked, immediately nervous.

"Will you ever tell me?"

"Will I ever tell you what?" Even though she knew to what he was referring, she feigned ignorance.

Jay tilted his head, like how he had done in Med, when she had said to him that she needed to tell him something. This curious, sweet head tilt...

Hailey shook her head. _No._

"Hailey," his voice was softer now. "When you picked me up from Med, you said you needed to tell me something."

"Yeah?"

"And then this phone rang, and... and that was it." Jay looked at her, pleading like a kid that wants a candy.

"As I said, never mind."

"Hailey, please."

No, Hailey didn't want to go into that direction. She shook her head more vigorously, then stood up. "I think I'd better go home now. It's been a long day. And you need to rest too, you're still not a hundred percent ok."

Jay stood up too, stared at her. "You know you can tell me anything."

"Not now, Jay. It's late. I'll pick you up tomorrow."

With that she was gone, leaving a bewildered Jay.

He slumped on the couch, grabbed his bottle, and let his head fall back. He had some idea what it might be that Hailey wanted to tell him, some faint hope, but without her actually saying what she wanted to say, there was nothing he could do. He let out an impatient sigh. Why were things suddenly so complicated?

* * *

The next morning Hailey picked Jay up at the usual time, and none of them mentioned their brief talk from the night before. It was as if both were tiptoeing around it. Both knew what was coming and weren't quite ready to admit it – to themselves and to the other. By now, however, Jay was slowly losing his patience, and he decided he would do something. But not right now, before work. He was grateful that she helped him put on his jacket, then they were on their way to work. Another boring day of desk duty for him, and for her another day out in the field with the rest of the team. Today Jay was fine with desk duty, however, because it gave him time to think. What could he do to make Hailey confess? He was beyond curious, he needed to know.

"Hey, could you ask Kevin or Adam to take you home tonight?" Hailey asked Jay, when it was about time to leave.

Jay just stared. "What? Why?"

"I... I need..." Hailey stuttered.

"Hailey, please," Jay tried his best puppy dog eyes look. "Hailey, I do need some help at home, and I would rather not have Adam or Kevin help me."

Hailey looked at him. Yes, the puppy eyes helped. She couldn't say no to these eyes. "Ah well, ok then. I'll just let Vanessa know she will need another ride."

Jay grinned. That was not the worst start.

* * *

Back in Jay's apartment, Jay once again gathered his courage. Perhaps he should just ask once more, but he was pretty sure Hailey would not answer. So he excused himself into the bathroom first to gain some more time. He wanted to change the bandage on his injury. So he took off his sweater, and got stuck. Well, not actually stuck, but almost.

"Hailey," he yelled.

"What is it?" she yelled back from the living room.

"Hailey, this is embarrassing, I need your help." He put a little whine into his voice.

Alarmed, Hailey hurried to the bathroom, cautiously opened the door. She wasn't sure what she would find there. When she saw Jay with his head and arm stuck in the sweater, she couldn't suppress a laugh.

"What on earth?"

"Help, please!"

"How come you manage every other day, and today?"

"I have no idea," Jay answered sheepishly. "Could you please pull off the sweater. I need to redress the wound, and I could really use some help."

Hailey's caring personality kicked it, and she helped Jay to get out of his sweater. She tried not to look too closely at his now naked upper body, not to notice how her fingers tingled when she touched his skin.

Carefully she removed the bandage, saw the injury for the first time. She gasped. It still looked gruesome. She couldn't help herself and softly touched the dark red scar, which so clearly showed that he could easily have been gone, have been taken away from her. Jay's eyes followed her touch.

Quickly she redressed the wound, trying to keep the skin contact to a minimum. She wouldn't be able to hold back much longer otherwise. But Jay didn't have it. As soon as the wound was taken care of, he took her wrist, held her hand.

"Now please say what you wanted to tell me back in Med," he pleaded. "Please Hailey. Don't let me make a fool of myself."

She stared at him, feeling her resistance crumble. Slowly, Hailey nodded.

"Let's go outside. And get you dressed first, it's cold."

"Okay." Jay followed her outside, grabbed a fresh sweater from the bedroom, pulled it over his head. Automatically Hailey helped him. Before she could retreat, Jay took both her hands.

"Done," he whispered. "Will you talk now, or should I start?"

"What?"

"Fine, I guess I will have to make a fool of myself after all," Jay said, a bit impatient. "Hailey..."

She shook her head, gave herself a push forward. It had to be now, she could no longer deny it.

"Jay, I... when you were in surgery, I realized something. I realized that... that I don't want to …" she looked down.

"Damn Vanessa," she uttered.

Jay's eyes widened, he let out a nervous laugh. "What?"

Hailey stared back at him.

"What has Vanessa got to do with this?"

Hailey sighed. "OK then." She swallowed hard before continuing. This was it. "When you were in surgery, Vanessa told me that waiting out there not knowing if you'd survive would be especially hard for me, because… because I love you."

Jay's eyebrows raised, he held his breath, not wanting her to stop talking.

"And I think I realized… I realized…" Hailey looked up again, into his green eyes. "I realized she's right, Jay. I was so worried, don't want to lose you, because I love you. But you once said you don't believe in workplace romance, so…"

Jay didn't let her finish, he lowered his face to hers and simply kissed her.

"This isn't just another workplace romance," he whispered after a long time. "This is so much more, Hailey. I love you too, and I need you to know that."


End file.
